Deep Dive Into SHAME: My most edgy and exhilarating interview of 2023
Hands down, my favourite conversation of the year -- and I had many great ones!
Out of all the of the public conversations I have had to date — some very powerful and rich ones that brought tears to my eyes — I would say this one is the most important.
Kathy Caprino of the Finding Brave podcast dig into the experience of shame, and with great gusto and surgical precision…
Answering three vital questions…
Where does toxic shame come from?
What is it’s impact on us, our loved ones, our careers, health, EVERYTHING!
And most important, how do we begin to RELEASE this corrosive and self-destructive emotional force?
Key Highlights From This Episode:
Unpacking the concept of core shame, the impact of seeing yourself as unworthy or unlovable, and how this influences our lives and behavior. [06:40]
Why it’s so important to understand where your shame comes from and what it’s attached to. [12:10]
David’s vulnerable account of how shame impacted him, and how the kindness of a friend, who had confronted his own core shame, altered David’s life. [21:23]
The symptoms of shame, why most people don’t realize they are carrying core shame, and why a shame-based society doesn’t want us to look internally. [26:13]
How patriarchal, racist, and capitalist systems have created a shame-based society, and what David has learned from studying healthy communities. [30:17]
Understanding how shame can show up in relationships; how we project our shame onto loved ones; and what it looks like to unlearn shame and your unique conditioning. [33:40]
Dethroning your inner critic and how this shifts your perspective; the physiological effects of releasing shame; effective and accessible techniques for letting go of shame. [39:37]
The nuances of shame and how interrogating it can teach us powerful lessons about our natural gifts. [49:40]
If the hour long listen or watch is too much for you, here is a 2 minute clip to give you a taste.
BACKGROUND CONTEXT: Kathy and I first found one another through a mutual friend on LinkedIn, commenting on the Barbie movie, bonding around our shared critiques. We’ve since have many conversations off the record about shame and how to break it’s spell over us.
If you have an stories to share about shame or wish to feed the fire of this work, you know where to reach me.