Feeling Controlled in your relationships...?

It certainly used to be such a potent saboteur.

I ended several promising relationships in my 20’s and 30’s because I felt trapped.

So much so, I used to feel literally suffocated and even lost my voice once.

Years of martial arts practice (Aikido and BJJ) ~ and lots of body work ~ helped me to unlock and surpass the fearful instinct to try to escape or freeze up.

And I have both learned, practiced and even taught (as a Sensei) invaluable lessons about no longer running away from intimacy, but instead daring to turn towards it.

That said, it’s been surprising and humbling to find myself revisiting this old pattern now, at age 47, when I have never felt more loved and connected as I do in my marriage.

Listen in as I reflect on my current experience.

My aim is to keep it real here.

And I put a stake in the ground for the potential of further healing and evolution of my response.

PS ~ Since recording this a couple of days ago, I have been fortunate to experience four touchpoints with masterful mentors and men helping me further unravel the Gordian knot of this issue of feeling controlled within intimate bonds.

Now, I cannot wait to share the fruit the experiences (next week) with a handful of very potent practices that have helped me to discover a new and massive pocket of spaciousness and acceptance, compassion and freedom within myself and in my marriage.